Because I too am a human being.

 "I do not wish to be protected, I wish to not need protection!"

The recent news of yet another woman—a mother—enduring unspeakable brutality in the name of culture and tradition left me in shock. If you haven’t heard, this woman now lies in critical condition after being publicly beaten by her husband, an act sanctioned by community elders. Tied to a tree like an animal, she was brutalized in front of her children and neighbors—people she once trusted—all because she refused to return to her abusive, addict husband. A man trained by the military, he beat her mercilessly, and not a single person stepped in to stop him.

Time and again, I hear "culture" used as an excuse whenever I demand basic human rights for women. But after hearing this story, I had to pause and reconsider its meaning. The dictionary says culture refers to the shared beliefs, values, and customs that define a society.

Is this what we believe in? Is this the behavior that defines us? Have we become a society where violence against women is so routine, so brutal, and yet so accepted that we barely blink at the news anymore? This week alone, three cases of intimate partner violence have surfaced. Two women are already dead; one is barely hanging on. Is this the culture we proudly claim? The identity we stubbornly defend?

I’ve never understood why some people think being a feminist means I want to be a man. Despite all the challenges, I’ve always loved being a woman. I’m surrounded by strong, brilliant women—starting with my mother. I love my femininity; it’s exactly why I fight so hard to protect it. So when I hear, “Feminists just want to be men,” I never related.

Until now.

Because when I saw that woman, tied to a tree and beaten to within an inch of her life for simply refusing to return to a violent man, I understood.

I want to be a man.

Not because I want to be bigger, stronger, or lose the ability to give birth—no. I want to be a man because I’m tired of waking up every morning and strategizing about how to dress. How to look professional enough to be respected but not so attractive that I’m "asking for it." I want to be a man because I’m tired of being scrutinized for being too thin and called ugly, or too heavy and treated as worthless. I want to be a man so I can stop walking the razor’s edge—trying to be polite enough not to provoke a stranger into violence, but not so friendly that he misinterprets my kindness as an invitation.

I want to be a man because I want to know what it’s like to walk down a street at night without calculating every shadow and voice as a potential threat. I want to be a man because I don’t want to wonder whether the man I married will kill me in my sleep—or drag me outside and beat me nearly to death. I want to be a man because, in this world, that seems to be the only way to guarantee basic human rights.

I read a quote once: "Every man I meet wants to protect me, and I can’t figure out from what." I’m reminded of this because when I shared the news with my male friends, their response was, "I’d kill him if that were my sister." I appreciate the instinct to protect, but what I want more than protection is to not need it in the first place. Not every woman is fortunate enough to have protective men in her life. And even those of us who do—like me—can’t be safeguarded every second of every day.

But most of all, this isn’t about me needing protection because I’m someone’s sister, daughter, cousin, or friend. It’s about the fact that I shouldn’t need protection because I am human.

So, if you want to protect us, do it by calling out that inappropriate joke your friend makes in the dorm. Speak up when someone tries to play a cruel "prank." Be willing to listen when a woman shares her pain instead of rushing to defend or dismiss. Protect me when I’m no one to you, so that someone else will protect the woman who matters most to you—even if she’s no one to them.

Culture is a shared understanding, a collective belief. And when you stay silent, when you laugh along, or when you "stay out of it," you are feeding a culture that will eventually speak for you.