2019 ... Abundantly Blessed

 As a poet, I have always prided myself on being a person who expresses my love, gratitude, and just overall emotions... albeit at times in a very dramatic way... to the people I love. I have always been a firm believer in telling the people you love and value that you love and value them, as often as possible. You never know when a person might need to hear it. We all go through silent battles we don't share sometimes.

But I will admit, I have somewhat been a neglectful daughter. And today, as I usher in a new year (which, hands down, has to be my favorite holiday. Maybe only Easter will beat it, really), I want to show them some appreciation.

As a child, my no-praise, no-physical-displays-of-affection, strict, and academically expectant parents were hard to understand or see as loving, not going to lie. And of course, after my quiet, down-to-earth, rule-abiding, reserved older brother set the tone for what they should expect from their children, a loud, larger-than-life, as they like to say, extremely curious, completely oblivious to risk, blindly trusting, I make my own rules daughter was probably not something they expected or knew what to do with.

It is funny how many times people at school growing up were shocked when they discovered we (me and my brother) were siblings or even related. We could not have been any more different if we had tried.

Although now I believe we have come to find so much similarity in one another as we have grown up, particularly in light of understanding how much the values you grow up with can be hard to find in others and he is my bestfriend, we still remain very different personalities. 

And I think it was easier to understand my brother, and probably raise him too for my parents and by probably I mean my mom swears by it. And as an adult now looking back, my energy and trust of people, in a daughter, can be a scary thing for a parent in Ethiopia, especially living in the community we do.

And though I never really saw it as a child, I am beyond grateful to have parents who never gave up trying to understand me. That when they realized they would not be able to teach me into becoming my brother, they didn't punish me for it. And even when they were just as confused, they defended me and my mentality in front of any external person, whether that was a teacher, a relative, a neighbour, or another child who made me feel weird for refusing to conform to what my younger self always referred to as boring people with no imagination. 

And somehow, over the years, we learned each other.

They understood me, and I did them.

I am grateful they allowed me to be who I am and trusted that I would be okay or maybe trust that they will be there if it ever wasn't. I don't think I will ever give enough credit to my parents, and even my siblings, for simply showing up and always supporting me, even when they didn't understand my decisions or didn't know where I was going with things. Turns out that is not really common and that is sad.

For loving me enough to point out my flaws, and believing in me enough to never lower their standards for the kind of person I can be.

My family truly is the hand of God in my life. And I feel incredibly lucky to have them.

One of my favourite Bible verses is Ecclesiastes 9:10, which says:

“Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the realm of the dead, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.”

So think of this as a reminder to go show your parents some love. Appreciate them. Tell them you love them. Show your siblings some love and let them know they are valuable ... even if they can be idiots and you just want to kick them sometimes.😂

We spend so much time assuming the people we love know how we feel. And maybe they do. But there is something beautiful about hearing it anyway.

And honestly, if you are anything like me, there is no better time than new years to suddenly become deeply philosophical about your entire existence and emotionally expose yourself on small hidden corner of the internet you call your own. 

Happy New Year folks, I have been long waiting for a new one. 🤍

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