A small step forward - Healing

 "A little step goes a long way."

I don't remember when I first learned about the concept of mental health , or even when I started to try and understand mine. For a young girl from a  'developing' country it is not exactly a term that is normalized. And though it has not been an easy road, I am glad that I did.

I had once read a quote that stuck with me; it was something along the lines of '... how sad it is to have to live your life translating your love because you love someone who doesn't speak your language...' I may have butchered the quote, but you get the gist. I had then thought it was worse to have to live your life translating their love because they fail to love you in the way you deserve.

 


Now I think it is worse to live your life misunderstood because you never knew how to translate your pain in a way those around you could understand. How can you when you can barely understand it yourself? That feeling of doubting yourself—feeling like maybe you overreacted or took it the wrong way, maybe you are at fault, or you feel things too deeply. That feeling of helplessness when you try and explain but end up proving their point, feeling irrational, emotional, aggressive...

Yes, that is the worst feeling. It is as if the whole world was given a manual on the right way to do things, and somehow you missed the memo. I mean, what is wrong with you? Even then, you can't answer because all you get to know is that there is something wrong with you.

Yes, how truly devastating it is to be a child who feels unloved, unseen, unheard, and misunderstood because you were never articulate in translating the pain that you feel.

It is a hard journey to take—the journey of healing and nurturing your mental health. But a very necessary one! The hardest thing I ever had to convince myself was that I was actually loved, that my pain was not being ignored, that my pain was not understood. It took me time to learn but I did and I am still learning.

Today, in a conversation with a family a statement was thrown. I was hurt and I shut down, I was triggered and close to a trauma response but I gave myself time, I felt the pain, understood it and was perfectly able to articulate it back on why I was emotional, communicate my boundaries and receive proper recognition. I feel very proud of myself. 

Mental health and healing journey is exactly that a journey and never one that is linear with ups and downs, you just have to try your best to grow through them and always celebrate the small victories, small steps. 

After all a small step goes a long way!

Felicity - the Gen Z blogger❤️

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